Shadows of Doubt

Shadows of Doubt
(a short story)

She told him she was there. It was hard to believe. She had sent me a previous message. She said she was on her way. She knew where I was. Stupid Twitter. I vented out waiting in the hall while someone snorted coke and #thefuckingplace. And she knew then. She convinced her friends.

This wasn’t new. There was a flirting going on and it was going on for a while. All on the screen. Now she was here. Flesh and bone. So I was nervous. I dreamt of actually meeting with her. But she was married, had a kid. I didn’t care that much, I was under…some sort of spell? I wanted her, wanted to be with her. And so did she, so here she was, flesh and bone, both listening to the whispers of lust. Everything was valid. Every excuse to write before, any excuse to go beyond. Just this night. Just tonight.

She was here. It was my chance. I was scared, I was nervous; I wasn’t expecting the night to turn out this way, to show me her face for real. I went there just to hang out with some friends. But now that she was there I had to see her. She send me a message. She saw me. She asked if I got the blue shirt. I replied. Yes. My friends started to ask why I was texting and why I suddenly got that naughty smile. There’s…a business I need to take care of…that’s what I said, I think. Stupid, I know, but I had nothing better to explain without giving any details. And hell no, I was not giving any details! This was mine! My story!

So I went inside the bar and met with her. Face to face. No Facebook, no Twitter, no texts. Flesh and bone. And…after some words, I told her I should leave, the train was coming. And odd excuse I know, but I knew I had to leave. She teased. I told her she was a bad, bad girl, but she just laughed. She said she wasn’t supposed to be there but that she did make the first step. I know, I said, and then I ran. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay there and be bad with her, but the shadows of doubts danced with me a little. Is she just a big tease? I think she is. So I doubted her words….

Without words everything turns cold. But doubt remains… and bone turns to ashes in the air, a whisper of what never was. I know, right? Stupid.